Apr 9, 2007
Two Famous People
There are a lot of writers, known in world literature as creators. I will not forget the first time I read stories from William Shakespire and Homer. I am going to talk about the differences and similiarities between them.These two writers belong to the different times. The first one was Shakespire (1564-1616) and the second in the middle of century 9 is Homer who was a blind man. Homer was inspired by the old tales with supernatural strength , and William was inspired by the Elizabethan era. The other difference between the writers is the places where they were born, United Kingdom for Shakespire and Greece for Homer. These two writers have some similarities. If I remember the character like Odyssey, Trojan Horse;(Homer) Romeo and Juliet, Makbeth,(Shakespire) I cannot forget these expressions, "To be or not to be," from Makbeth character of Shakespire or when Penelope ruined her sewing from the poem "Odysse" writen by the Homer.These two writers wrote famous poetries and are well known by the readers. (Homer is less known than Shakespire). In addition, a lot of creations of this writers are seen in movies played by the most famous actors. I suggest the students of my class to read parts from their best creativity.
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4 comments:
You did good job but I think you paragraph needs some changes.
Some of your sentences confuse me. For example, "If I remember the movies like Odyssey, Trojan Horse, Romeo and Juliet, Makbeth, I cannot forget these expressions, "To be or not to be," or when Penelope ruined her sewings."
Try to use transition expressions "in contrast", "like", "the same .. as"... in your paragraph.
i think you have to change ur century 9 to "19"
Topic/Concluding:
no comma after writers
what do you mean by the time I read their stories? Confusing? Do you mean I will not forget the first time I read their stories?
Tell the reader at the beginning that you are going to talk about the differences and similarities.
You need a concluding sentence that connects to the idea that you are comparing and contrasting these two people.
Supporting Ideas:
unclear "and William by the kingdom of that time"
Your first similarity is unclear. Do you mean that they both wrote famous stories?
Transitions/Vocabulary:
Try transition from p. 127
Grammar/Comparitives:
Shakespeare
900 B.C.
"where they were born: United Kingdom and Greece."
Topic/Concluding: .20 Concluding should summarize differences and similarities.
Supporting Ideas: .25
You made some good changes, much clearer!
Transitions/Vocabulary: .25
Good
Grammar/Comparatives: .20
good comparatives
different times (no the)
Shakespeare
Homer, who was a blind man.
poetry (non-count)
these
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