Apr 24, 2007

Protecting the enviroment

Nowadays, pollution is a big problem in most of developing countries. Development of country increase with some reason which made the environment is in alert. In some country, pollution of environment have increased alarmingly. There are many cause that have lead to this problem such as: many factories, a lot of trash everywhere or people cut trees but don't replant. We need to keep fresh air and make our environment more beautiful by moving all factories out of city, recycling trash as we can and plant a lot of trees around.

In big city of most countries has many factories. They thorw out some smoke of industry into the air. Also, they eliminated toxic product through water. It killed many life which is living in the river. In addition, people also use the water so we may have some heath problem. Another cause is people throw trash away everywhere. They don not recycle them. They do not use it right way. They waste paper, can and some thing else. One more cause is people cut down trees to build house or make furniture. So that reason why trees become less more and more day by day. They cut down them, but they did not replant them enough. Also, they fired the forest to get the land. Therefore, day by day, the air is not enough to all people breathe. We breathe oxygen and respire carbon dioxide. Trees breathe carbon dioxide and respire oxygen. Thus, that reason why we need trees. Trees help us have good breath. That is some cause made our environment will be destroyable.

If people know how to avoid destroying our environment, the air will be keep fresh and healthy. People should move all factories far away from city where a lot of people are living. In industry, they should have some ways to solve substances which is poison, dangerous to all lives. More than that, smoking of industry can't discard into the air. Moreover, people have to replant trees after use them. If we have a lot of trees, our area would be very fresh and more beautiful. Beside that, people do not through away after use them. We should have small plan at every house to recycle trash. Combining with the way people save money by recycling paper or can, we will have healthful environment. That is a good way to keep healthful life.

Environment is very important for all lives. People are the best member in the area. We have responsibility to keep it safety and make it more beautiful. As a result, we have to try on best to avoid destroying the environment by decreasing facrories in city, plant trees or keep trash to recycle. Pollution is the best important problem which need people all over the world to pay attention and looking for the solution.

5 comments:

Noel said...

Hi Katy.
You have good causes and solutions, but I found a little mistake in the last sentence in the paragraph (It has many cause lead to this problem.)
You might write "It has many causes that lead to this problem"
Goo luck! with the whole essay

FLOREA said...

It seems to be more a prewriting than an essay. The introduction is good , you got good causes and solutions but, you have to develop it. Also, I don't see the vocabulary words, the transitions, the adverb clauses, and the concluding sentence.

eva said...

Hi Katy

Try to build up your idea
You don’t have:
-concluding sentence
-adverb clause
-transition words

ESL Teacher said...

Topic/Concluding/Thesis:
Excellent! Very Clear.
Second sentence is confusing.

Good topic sentence for solution paragraph.

Restate causes and solutions in conclusion. Read conclusion out loud to check small mistakes.

Causes/Solutions:
You give many great details, but for this assignment, you can simplify your essay by saying one cause and one effect (2 sentences for each idea).

Example: The smoke from these factories causes air pollution.

Transitions/Vocabulary:
plant a lot of trees
factories not manufactories
discarded is confusing verb.
Use transitions to separate solutions.

Grammar/Adverb Clauses:
check articles (a/the)
pollution is a big problem in most
developing countries.
There are many causes that have lead..

How to avoid destroying.
far away from the city

ESL Teacher said...

Topic/Concluding/Thesis .25


3 causes/3 solutions .25

3 transitions/3 new vocabulary .20
Thus, we need more trees.

Grammar/ 3 adverb clauses .20