Apr 24, 2007

Drugs

Drugs is one of the biggest problems around the world. Drugs are an illegal substance that people smoke or inject for pleasure. The doctors and psychologists have determined that exist causes and solutions to battle it. The biggest causes are the peer pressure, the depression and the curiosity and the solutions are more communication between parents and kids, family therapy and rehabilitation center. Drugs can ruin every aspect of a person's life. One cause for drug use is for peer pressure the kids and teens try drug to fit in with a group of friends for example, in the peer pressure the kids easily tempt to use drugs because the friends the convince them saying that they should do the same things that their peers are doing because it's not bad, knowing them that it's the opposite. Another cause is for depression for instance the kids all the time are observing as their parents are fighting and it makes that they look for somebody outside that listen, help but at the same time that person can involve them in the drugs. Another cause is for curiosity, the kids want to experiment something new, but it gets to become finally in an addiction. Knowing the causes we can to find the solutions. The solutions are very important to help people to leave the drugs. The first solution is that the parents should talk with the kids about the drugs and how they can potentially cause harm, if the parents do this, the kids wouldn't manipulate as easily. The second solution is a family therapy, it would be the best way to help to unite all family, talking about the things, problems, worries that they need to share inside of the family circle, and in this way to avoid that the kids try to use drugs. The finally solution is a rehabilitation center is a place where people take a treatment to leave the drugs. Illegal drugs aren't good for anyone, but they are particularly bad for a kid or teen whose body is still growing. Illegal drugs is a big problem, but if everybody helps to stop it, the world would be a place much better to live drug's free.

4 comments:

MURHAF said...

Hi Sara .... nice paragraph . U should put to after escape

FLOREA said...

Good essay! You got the ideea and I saw you have the causes and solutions. What you don't have is the concluding sentence and the "bolded" vocabulary words , transition words and the adverb clauses.

ESL Teacher said...

Topic/Concluding/Thesis:
smoke or inject
A thesis is a sentence at the end of your introduction that says you are going to talk about causes and solutions. You need a thesis.

Good last sentence. Before that, you need to restate your causes and solutions.

Causes/Solutions:
sentence about marijuana is not necessary in introduction.
You give a good example about how people use drugs to escape, but it doesn't connect to your first sentence about kids.
What are the three causes for drug use? State them clearly and then give information to support your idea.
Same with solutions.

You should use a topic sentence for second paragraph instead of a heading (causes)

Transitions/Vocabulary:
Use transitions from chapter to make your ideas clearer. One cause for drug use is..
Another cause...
Great vocabulary!

Grammar/Adverb Clauses:
Illegal drugs (no the)
Did you bold 3 adverb clauses?

ESL Teacher said...

Topic/Concluding/Thesis .25


3 causes/3 solutions .25

3 transitions/3 new vocabulary .25

Grammar/ 3 adverb clauses .15