Apr 9, 2007
Nicole Kidman and Angelina Jolie
We surrounded by a lot of famous people. There are some similarities and some differences between them. For instance, I would like to compare Nicole Kidman with Angelina Jolie. Like Nicole, Angelina is American actress. They are mothers,Kidman adopted 2 children,Jolie 3. Of course, they are beautiful,popular and successful women. However,there are some differences between them. One woman is a blond. In contrast, another is a brunet. Whereas Angelina doesn't have any Oscar, Nicole has. And they came from different families. Jolie had more rich family than Nicole. Angelina's parents are famous and Kidman was born in an average Australian family. Finally, I want to say,that many people of the world love both of them and wait new films where they would act in .
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I think you should change the title instead of Famouse people you should write Famous people.
Hi Olya, Sara is right, you should change your topic, but not for Famous people; for Famous People :)
-“For instance, Nicole Kidman and Angelina Jolie.” Where is verb in this sentence?
- “They are mothers, Kidman adopted 2 children, Jolie 3. And, of course, they are beautiful,” You should make 2-3 different sentences.
- “One woman is a blond” One woman is blond
Finally, I didn’t see the concluding sentence and try to make your paragraph bigger with more facts and examples. Then it will be much better.
Topic/Concluding: Good introduction.
We are surrounded by.. Many of them are known..
You need a concluding sentence.
Supporting Ideas:
Great ideas and examples.
You need a verb in the fourth sentence.
Transitions/Vocabulary:
Excellent!
Grammar/Comparatives:
You need two comparatives.
the other is a brunet.
Intro/Concluding .20 Your concluding sentence should be similiar to your topic sentence.
Supporting Ideas .20
Clear examples. Explain more.
Transitions/Vocabulary .25
Great transitions.
Grammar/Comparatives .20
Jolie had a richer family.
spaces after commas
Post a Comment