We can see different phenomenons which make a negative influence in our society. One of these phenomenons is alcoholism, which keeps getting bigger. Alcoholism abuse cause major, social, economic and public health problems. If you drink you can lose control meaning you cannot stop after you've begun.Every problem that causes drinking has the solutions which help people to minimize the alcohol effects. These are some of the reasons which cause drinking alcohol :
Causes:
1. Some people start drinking because of peer pressure, so they dont stand out from their friends.
2. Other people just drink it to change their mood. They want to join other people who are drinking.
3. Other people drink alcohol because it's inherited from their family. For example children of alcoholics are about four times more likely than the general population to develop alcohol problems.
By searching deeper into this problem, we can find different solutions to make us have conscience.
Solutions:
1. When you go somewhere with your friends, you should always limit your drinking. Avoid underage drinking.
2. For other people who want to escape from reality they could find a different way to get away from alcoholism such as, reading, working out, going for a jog or taking medical help.
3. For others who inherited alcoholism from their family, they should know what consequences their family went through and their family harmony got destroyed, wasted a lot of money; etc. So that person should limit their drinking knowing whats going to happen.For instance , children of alcoholics are about four times more likely than the general population to develop alcohol problems.
Every person should first think about the consequences before drinking alcohol and knowing that it might destroy their life. People experiencing alcohol and other drug problems often feel they hurt only themselves. That isn't true. They also hurt their families, friends, and others.
I got some information from http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/alcoholism.html.
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5 comments:
Hi Rudina, you should organize your paragraph such as essay, but not like regular one. Next, you need to make correction on your title. For instance, Alcoholism as a Bad Choice or Alcohol is a Bad Choice.
Hi Rudina! Your causes are clear, maybe you can add some examples like you did with solutions.
Topic/Concluding/Thesis:
Check rules for titles, no complete sentences or punctuation.
I am not sure what your causes and solutions are from reading the first paragraph. Could you state them in the last sentence of the first paragraph?
Conclusion should summarize causes and solutions.
Causes/Solutions:
Do you need to give a reference for the information about alcoholism? According to..
You don't need a heading or numbers for your essay.
Your ideas are clear.
You repeat the same idea in two paragraphs.
Transitions/Vocabulary:
Alcohol abuse causes major ..
For example,
Try using One cause, another cause to help connect ideas.
Grammar/Adverb Clauses:
Topic/Concluding/Thesis .25
3 causes/3 solutions .15
3 transitions/3 new vocabulary .20
Grammar/ 3 adverb clauses .20
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