Apr 23, 2007

Alcoholism as one of the Biggest Problems



It is a well-known fact that one of the biggest problems in the world for people’s live is alcoholism. It is a serious disease which makes person addicted to alcohol and big health, social and spiritual problems. To know and to understand dangers of alcoholism will help you to protect yourself against this unsafe addiction. On the one hand, the biggest causes that make person alcoholic are stresses, bad heredity and circle of dialogue; on the other hand, their solutions are to make freer time, understanding your heredity and to change of a circle of dialogue.


The first thing that should be noted is if you have knowledge of this problem, you have a weapon. Let’s us begin by looking at stresses. Stress is continuous feelings about something that is important for you. To take off stress a lot of people drink some alcohol, but it does not really help. If people have some big problem which they cannot solve, they try escaping it by drinking alcohol too. Secondly, the heredity playing is the one of the dominate role in your personality. For instance, if one or both of parents are alcoholic, the likelihood of having children who drink is twice higher. You can also have the addiction of alcohol which is out of drinking when you have just born. Besides this, circle of dialogue is important item of causes that makes people begin drink such as friends, parents, schoolmates or workmates. They make on us big impression and can show for us bad example of drinking alcohol, especially in the last century when people were drinking alcohols when they celebrate some celebration and it made them the addiction. This brings to us the conclusion that causes like stresses, the heredity and people who spent we much time could made us alcoholics.

When we know the reason of this problem, it gives for us more knowledge where to find the solutions. To begin with one of the most helpful solution such as to make freer time is the way that people can escape from their stress’s situations. People usually do not have enough time to do everything what they wanted or have already planned to do on time and it makes them to the stresses situations. After that, many of them start drinking alcohol and if they don’t stop doing it during some period of time, they are becoming alcoholics. It should be also stressed that to be an optimist, person who has positive view on another people or things and believe that something witch are going to happen in the future will be only the best and agreeable things, very rarely to have dependence on alcohol. Secondly, if your parents have the addiction of alcohol, probably you might have big chance to have it too. One way does not depend on understanding what you do not need to drink much alcohol to be an alcoholic, because your heredity has already propensity to alcohol. As regards people who are around us, if they are drinking alcohol and giving it to you, you should say “I do not drink” and explain them that drinking alcohol is not only one way how to spent good time, to have fun and to be happy. Furthermore, you should say them that it will bring them a lot of problems. To sum up, we should always remember that from each problem we can effortlessly find solutions realize the reason.


As we can see in 21st century alcoholism is one of the most serious problems in the world. It creates a lot of problems for people, such as losing job, health problems, crash family, faster death, be poor and then their life is completely broken. If you protect yourself against all these negative things about knowing that the one glass of alcohol might be the reason of all those problems.

10 comments:

Iryna said...

It is the best job, from your's which you made before. Every paragraph have topic and concluding sentences, also all sentences are clear (as a last resort for me). I have just one remark in the paragraph, where you are talking about couses. I think life problems and stresses are almost same things, because the stress is result of life problems. Maybe it will be better to give such 3 couses as stresses, friends and the heredity.

Yura said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Yura said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Yura said...

Thanks Iryna for your remark, I was thinking about stresses and problems too. I agree with you that the stress is result of life problems, but I showed those two causes like separate causes. Stresses like life problems are important causes that can make dependence from alcohol. It is depending from with side you are looking :)
How about heredity like the 3th cause I think It'll be strong only from causes. It'll be harder to write about solutions :)

ESL Teacher said...

Topic/Concluding/Thesis:
Great transition in thesis.

Causes/Solutions:
Very well organized. I see what you mean about restating the same thing at the beginning and end. You don't have restate everything, just summarize the main idea of conclusion.

What do you mean by circle of dialogue? friends? relationships? peers?

It is not necessary to restate your causes at the beginning of cause paragraph. You only need a topic sentence that tells that you are going to discuss causes.

The first and second cause seem very similar.

You give the example of parents influencing us and then in the summary you say friends influence us.

Transitions/Vocabulary:

Good transitions.
try addiction (n) problem or addict (n) person instead of dependence people...

dangers (n) instead of dangerous (adj)
the likelihood of having children who drink is twice as high.

an optimist is a person, optimistic (adj)


Grammar/Adverb Clauses:
Could you highlight the adverb clauses?

ESL Teacher said...

I published my comment without reading solutions.
You don't need the second sentence in the solution paragraph. The first is enough of a topic sentence.

I disagree that we can find solutions effortlessly. It takes alot of effort.

I will only let you have three sentences for your conclusion.

Lyuda said...

Yura it's a very interesting and edifying essay.I didn't correct any mistakes because when I read something interesting I can't concentrate on finding mistakes,and like always my son(who like to play on computer)try to help me.I'm sure that you will get an"A" for your essay,and I'm also sure that you've been a good student,I know you're responsible student.GOOD JOB VICE PRESIDENT(you can correct my mistakes too).

Unknown said...

The essay is really nice and problem is really painfull. Everything is great. Great idea, great sence. Remarks:

It is a well-known fact that one of the biggest problems FROM people’S live is alcoholism.

It is a serious disease WHICH makes person addictED to alcohol, social and spiritual problems.

KNOWING and UNDERSTANDING dangers of alcoholism will help you to protect yourself against this unsafe addiction.

On the one hand, the biggest causes that make person alcoholic are stresses, bad heredity and circle of dialogue; on the other hand, their solutions are to make freer time, understanding your heredity and to change of a circle of dialogue.


Let’S us begin by looking at stresses.

Stress is COUNTINUOED feeling about something that is important for you.

If people have some big problem WHICH they cannot solve, they try escaping it by drinking alcohol.

Secondly, the heredity playing IS THE one of the dominate role in your personality.

For instance, if one or both of parents are alcoholic, the likelihood of having children who drink is twice as high.(DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENCE)

You can also have the addiction of alcohol wHich IS out OF drinking IT when you HAVE just born.

Beside this, circle of dialogue is important item of causes that makeS people begin drink such as friends, parents, schoolmates or workmates. (DO NOT USE to AFTER MAKE it’s a rule)

They make on us such a big impression and can show us bad example of drinking alcohol.

Especially in the last century people WERE drinking alcohol when they celebrated some celebration and it MADE them addicted.(PASSIVE)

It brings TO us the conclusion that cause like stress, the heredity and people WHO SPENT WE much time COULD MADE US alcoholics.

When we know the REASON of this problem, it gives us more knowledge where to find the solutions.

To begin with one of the most helpful solutions such as make freer time is the way THAT PEOPLE CAN escape from their stress’S situations.

People usually do not have enough time to do everything what they WANT OR HAVE ALREADY PLANNED TO DO on time and it makes them TO THE stresses situations.

It should be also stressed that to be an optimist, person who has positive view on another people or things and believe that SOMETHING WHICH ARE GOING TO HAPPEN in the future will BE only THE BEST and agreeable, very rarely TO have dependence ON alcohol. (DEPEND ON something)

Secondly, if your parents have the addiction of alcohol, probably you MIGHT have big chance to HAVE it too.

One way doESN’T depend on understandING What you do not need to drink to be AN alcoholic, because your heredity has already propensity to alcohol.

As regards people who are around us, if they are drinking alcohol and giving it to you, you should say “I do not drink” and explain them that drinking alcohol is not only one way to spent good time, to have fun and to be happy.

Furthermore, you should say them that it will bring them a lot of problems. To sum up, we should always remember that from each problem we can effortlessly find solutions realize the REASON.

As we can see in 21st century alcoholism is one of the most serious problem in the world.

It createS a lot of problems FOR PEOPLE, such as losing job, health problems, crash family, faster death, be poor and then their life IS COMPLETELY BROKEN.

If you protect yourself against all THESE negative things ABOUT knowing that THE one glass of alcohol might BE THE REASON OF all those problems.

You will have happy life without alcohol. Enjoy life without alcohol. Life is short but it’s really nice. Discover it without alcohol. ;)

Unknown said...

Essay is really nice. Problem is really painfull. Nice job! Everybody must kmow about this problem and don't repeat bad mistakes. Best regrads.
REMARKS:

It is a well-known fact that one of the biggest problems FROM people’S live is alcoholism.

It is a serious disease WHICH makes person addictED to alcohol, social and spiritual problems.

KNOWING and UNDERSTANDING dangers of alcoholism will help you to protect yourself against this unsafe addiction.

On the one hand, the biggest causes that make person alcoholic are stresses, bad heredity and circle of dialogue; on the other hand, their solutions are to make freer time, understanding your heredity and to change of a circle of dialogue.

Let’S us begin by looking at stresses.

Stress is continuoED feeling about something that is important for you.(PASSIVE)

If people have some big problem WHICH they cannot solve, they try escaping it by drinking alcohol.

Secondly, the heredity playing IS THE one of the dominate role in your personality.

For instance, if one or both of parents are alcoholic, the likelihood of having children who drink is twice as high.(DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENCE)

You can also have the addiction of alcohol wHich IS out OF drinking IT when you HAVE just born.

Beside this, circle of dialogue is important item of causes that makeS people begin drink such as friends, parents, schoolmates or workmates. (DO NOT USE to AFTER MAKE it’s a rule)

They make on us such a big impression and can show us bad example of drinking alcohol.

Especially in the last century people WERE drinking alcohol when they celebrated some celebration and it MADE them addicted.

It brings TO us the conclusion that cause like stress, the heredity and people WHO SPENT WE much time COULD MADE US alcoholics.

When we know the REASON of this problem, it gives us more knowledge where to find the solutions.

To begin with one of the most helpful solutions such as make freer time is the way THAT PEOPLE CAN escape from their stress’S situations.

People usually do not have enough time to do everything what they WANT OR HAVE ALREADY PLANNED TO DO on time and it makes them TO THE stresses situations.

It should be also stressed that to be an optimist, person who has positive view on another people or things and believe that SOMETHING WHICH ARE GOING TO HAPPEN in the future will BE only THE BEST and agreeable, very rarely TO have dependence ON alcohol. (DEPEND ON something)

Secondly, if your parents have the addiction of alcohol, probably you MIGHT have big chance to HAVE it too.

One way doESN’T depend on understandING What you do not need to drink to be AN alcoholic, because your heredity has already propensity to alcohol.

As regards people who are around us, if they are drinking alcohol and giving it to you, you should say “I do not drink” and explain them that drinking alcohol is not only one way to spent good time, to have fun and to be happy.

Furthermore, you should say them that it will bring them a lot of problems. To sum up, we should always remember that from each problem we can effortlessly find solutions realize the REASON.

As we can see in 21st century alcoholism is one of the most serious problem in the world.

It createS a lot of problems FOR PEOPLE, such as losing job, health problems, crash family, faster death, be poor and then their life IS COMPLETELY BROKEN.

If you protect yourself against all THESE negative things ABOUT knowing that THE one glass of alcohol might BE THE REASON OF all those problems.

You will have happy life without alcohol.

Enjoy life without alcohol.

Life is short but it’s really nice.
Discover it without alcohol. ;)

ESL Teacher said...

Topic/Concluding/Thesis .25


3 causes/3 solutions .25

3 transitions/3 new vocabulary .25
With regard to people..
Grammar/ 3 adverb clauses .20
Great clauses