Many things surprised me when i arrived to the U.S.A. I came here a while ago at Christmas time. I arrived at the Kennedy Airport in New York, and I was astonished when I saw a lot of people and airplanes which started and alighted every minute. I was also amazed when I saw beautiful Christmas decorations. Every next day surprised me. I saw many high buildings, and between them, wide streets with everlasting traffic. Between big and small cities, there were many highways; I now like them because i can quickly drive anywhere. I was astonished when i saw a lot of obese people here.
Many things surprised me because they were diffrent then from what I thought. This country is still foreign and new to me.
3 comments:
was also amazed when I saw beautiful Christmas decorations. Every next day surprised me. I saw many high buildings, i want to now if you celebrate christmas in you country . it was a good,and short .
Good topic and concluding sentence.
alighted - take off
You use good adjectives to help the reader imagine what you are talking about. Can you think of any other senses you could use to describe your experiences (sound, taste, touch, smell?)
Topic/Concluding sentences:
.25 Good.
Supporting sentences:
.15 You give lots of small examples. Focus on one and describe more about it.
5 Senses/Vocabulary:
.20 Nice descriptions of cities. Can you use other senses besides sight?
alighted is confusing
Grammar/Punctuation:
.20
I is capitalized (not i )
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