William Henry Gates III and Albert Einstein are both very famous people. Probably everyone in the world has heared or knows something about those people. For instance, every time when you turn on, your computer you start using products of Microsoft that created Bill Gates and his friend. Those products can be Microsoft Windows, Microsoft Office, Internet Explorer or some other. In addition, Bill Gates is one of 100 the most influential people in the last few years who also gives a lot of money for charity. Some people may know him as a writer. According to http://www.microsoft.com, the most popular his book is “Business @ the Speed of Thought”. Albert Einstein is as famous as Bill Gates. His name is associate whit a name of the genius, because he made and opened a lot of new theories and laws in physics in which one he had Nobel Prize. Another similarity between those two people is that they have uncommon mathematical abilities. In fact, they both were in the top of studying of the exact sciences in college and had excellent knowledge with those disciplines. Therefore, the biggest invention for Bill Gates was the programming language “Basic” that he and his best friend created for the first computer. This success gave them opportunity to create the powerful and successful corporation. Today, Microsoft Corporation is one of the most moneymaking corporations in the world that have a goal to sell the computer for each person. In contrast, Albert Einstein did not create any inventions for begin his business, he was a scientist who created “general relativity, special relativity, Brownian motion, summation convention, photoelectric effect, Unified Field Theory, Bose–Einstein statistics and EPR paradox” according to http://wikipedia.org. Those two people invented and created very important things that changed all our life forever.
Like similarities, they have some dissimilarities too. First of all, they lived in different places and in different periods of time. According to www.famouspeople.co.uk/, Bill has been living in the USA since October 28, 1955, whereas Albert was living in Germany, Italy, Switzerland and the USA from March 14, 1879 to April 18, 1955. Second, it is material status. For instance, Bill Gates earns 250$ every second. He was the richest person in the world during 1996, 1998-2004 years. In another hand, Albert Einstein was not as rich as Bill Gates. He even starved in his life. Next difference is their kind of activity. Albert Einstein was a theoretical physicist. On the other hand, Bill Gates is a successful entrepreneur. In conclusion, those two people have many differences and similarities. This comparison just gives for us more interest to know more about their status, priorities, inventions and life at all.
6 comments:
Hi,
you wrote a very good and informative paragraph. Even though, most of the facts that you wrote are known by me, it was interesting to read it. I did it with pleasure.
Verry good job!
Hi Yura
I enjoy reading your writing.
If you write about the country that is Germany not German
Good topic and concluding sentence
Topic/Concluding:
You can delete your outline.
Tell me in your topic sentences that you are going to compare and contrast these two people to help me understand your purpose.
Last sentence is unnecessary.
Supporting Ideas:
You give alot of good details to support your paragraph. Choose the best detail to support each idea. For example, Bill Gates is famous because he invented Microsoft (not this exact sentence, but you get the idea).
Transitions/Vocabulary:
Microsoft not company Microsoft
influence (noun) influential (adjective)
differentness is not a word. Try differences, dissimilarities
What are the "exact sciences"?
On the other hand,
In conclusion,
This comparison...
Grammar/Comparatives:
Good superlatives!
has heard not hired
invented and created (both in past)
First of all, they lived in different places and in different periods of time.
Hi!
I enjoyed your paragraph a lot except I would change a couple things for instance in the second sentance "Probably everyone in the world hired or knows something about those people."
changed "hired" to heard
In the following sentance "For instance, every time when you turn on your computer you start using products of company Microsoft that created Bill Gates and his friend"
I would change that to "For instance evertime you turn your computer on you start using Microsoft produces that Bill Gates and his friend created.
Hi, Your paragraph is very good. But you have to use Grammar/Comparitives.
sivarao
Topic/Concluding: .20 Great concluding sentence, but your topic needs to tell me that you are going to explain similarities and differences.
Supporting Ideas:.25 You give many examples and sometimes it is difficult to identify your main idea. Make sure you state the similarity and then give example.
Transitions/Vocabulary: .25
Those products include:
Excellent vocabulary!
On the other hand,
Grammar/Comparatives: .20
heard
when you turn on your computer..
that were created by Bill
or
that Bill Gates created
Good comparatives -
his most popular book is ..
for which he won a Nobel Prize.
Albert lived in .. (the action is finished.)
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