Apr 9, 2007

Two Famous People




My topic for this written exercise is comparing two individuals who have distinguished careers in the political sector. I will give factual information about them that are the same, just as I will discuss some differences among them. The two famous individuals that I will be writing about are Rudy Guilani,an ex mayor of New York City and Hillary Clinton, an ex first lady.
The first similarity among the two individuals is that they both have been involved in political positions in New York City, Guilani being the Mayor, whereas Clinton was a Senator. Another commonality that they share is that they are both lawyers. A third similarity among them is that they both served around the same years and the same amount of terms, more or less. He served two terms as Mayor of New York City from 1994 to 2001. She served two terms as First Lady of the United States from 1993 to 2001. These two individuals have power and influence in the political and justice circle. Finally, Rudy Guilani has ambitions of becoming President of the United States one day, just as Hillary Clinton does also.
In contrast to their similarities, Rudy and Hillary also share many differences. These differences might not be important, but nonetheless, they do exist. Hillary Clinton was born on October 26, 1947 in Park Ridge, Chicago, Illinois. "Rudy" Giuliani was born on May 28, 1944 in Brooklyn, New York. She is younger than him. An important difference among their political careers is that while she is from the Democratic Party, he is from the Republican Party. She has been married once and Giuliani has been married three times. She has one child, a daughter, while he has two children, a son and a daughter. Another difference among Hillary and Giuliani is that she is Methodist and he is Roman Catholic. After the September 11 attacks, Giuliani was named the "2001 Person of the Year" by Times Magazine. In addition, he earned the nickname "American Mayor". Finally, he received an honorary Knighthood for Queen Elizabeth II. Hillary Clinton was named one of the 100 most influential lawyers in America twice by the National Law Journal. She is also the first Female Senator to represent New York. Even though they have both received numerous awards, they have been awarded for different political achievements.
In conclusion, I would like to state that even though they have differences that are more typical in nature, their similarities among the political path are quite the same, more or less. They have both achieved many great accomplishments and are highly respected and admired individuals.

References:
http://www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hillary_Rodham_Clinton
http://www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rudolph_Giuliani

3 comments:

Yura said...

Hi Luz, It was very enjoyable read your paragraphs, because you give a lot of examples and wrote clearly. However, there are some small mistakes like “Other differences among Hillary and Giuliani are that..” ;” a daughter. While” ;” two terms as First Lady”
You should write concluding sentence and change your topic on Two Famous People
Your are really good writer!

ESL Teacher said...

Topic/Concluding:
Include in first sentence that you are going to compare and contrast these two people so your reader knows your purpose.

Supporting Ideas:
Excellent ideas and organization!

Focus on the 3 biggest differences.
For example, is the fact that Hillary is younger than Rudy really important? If so, explain why. If not, choose something else to focus on.
Transitions/Vocabulary:
You use some good transitions and excellent vocabulary. Try to include transitions from p. 127.


Grammar/Comparitives:

You need two comparitives.

ESL Teacher said...

Intro/Concluding .20 very clear instead of My topic - The topic or even better This essay compares two...

Supporting Ideas .20
Very clear.
I disagree that their differences are unimportant. I just wanted you to tell me why they are important.
Age - State the difference, then give example to support.
Political Party
Family
Religion
Honors/Awards.
You choose 5 differences instead of three. Your ideas would be stronger if you focused on the three biggest differences between them instead of mentioning 5.

Transitions/Vocabulary .25
former mayor, former first lady - ex sounds like they were fired.
Great transitions. They help connect your ideas.
Good variety of words for similiarity and difference.

Grammar/Comparatives .20
Great.