Apr 26, 2007

Terrorism

Freedom is the right of individuals to act as they choose. Our freedom is taken away from us though when terrorism strikes. Terrorism puts fear in to our minds and disrupts our everyday actions and activities. On September 11, 2001 a tragedy occurred in New York City, at the World Trade Center. Two hijacked airplanes were flown straight into the twin towers killing over 6,000 people and injuring the minds of all Americans. This violent act of terrorism was masterminded by the Al-Qaida leader Osama Bin Laden. After the attacks, various freedoms were taken from us. Even though this is hard to explain, there are causes and solutions to this issue.
America is now in a war against terrorism and is going to fight until the end so it can insure the safety of all of us. Terrorism has been around for as long as people can remember, but it has been on the rise for the past ten years. The primary reason for terrorist acts are to cause public fear. Another reason for terrorist acts are because of hate towards a race, nationality, or religion. For example, in 1972 the Palestine Liberation Organization invaded Israeli dorms in the Munich Olympics, and held the Israeli athletes hostage until Israel would agree to release Palestinian terrorists that were captured in Israel. When Israel refused to comply with the terrorists demands, they blew up two helicopters which held the Israeli athletes, killing the whole team. Terrorist groups might also cause atacks for popularity through media that reaches everyone around the world.
With terrorism being so secretive and having no forewarning, it has been a real problem
to deal with. The governments of many countries have tried to stop these cowardly acts, but they just seem to be on the rise.
There are several ways to fight terrorism, and I think that they are great ways: Tighten airport security, protect terrorist targets, and always train for trouble to be prepared for anything. We need tighter security because accordng to http://www.terrorism.com, most terrorists walk in directly to the United States, harming our people. Our protection and safety is important.
People may feel threatened by my actions of tighter security. It may be a pain to put up with. If that’s what it takes for us to be safer, so be it. I think the people shouldn’t complain if the actions are for their own safety. They should be able to walk about without having to worry about acts of terrorism. I think these solutions should be successful.
I believe terrorism is a very real and very dangerous threat to the United States. Until this issue is a problem, we all need to take certain procautions.

3 comments:

Margaret said...

I like your paragraph .You have
good examples.

ESL Teacher said...

Topic Sentences/Concluding Sentences/ Thesis: You have a good introduction, but you do not tell the reader that you are going to discuss causes and solutions.


3 Causes/3 Solutions:
You give many good examples of terrorist acts, but you need to focus on 3 causes of terrorism. Why does it happen and how can those problems be solved? You also give many solutions. Focus on 3 solutions.

I would suggest that you remove the second paragraph and focus on your causes and solutions, rather than many examples of terrorist acts.

Transitions/Vocabulary:
Good Transitions and new vocabulary.
You should cite your source in your writing by saying According to ....

Grammar/3 Adverb clauses:
I saw one adverb clause hilghlighted. Do you have two more?

ESL Teacher said...

Topic/Concluding/Thesis .25


3 causes/3 solutions .20

3 transitions/3 new vocabulary .25

Grammar/ 3 adverb clauses .20