Apr 24, 2007

Pollution

Pollution is defined as, when the natural environment is being contaminated because of human consequences with harmful substances. Pollution makes our atmosphere dirty . There are few causes and there are solutions .
The smoke come out of the factory makes the air dirty. In the smoke there are dust particles that go in the air and make it dirty. Smoke produces high level of carbon monoxide, which is coming from ours cars ,buses and trains . People cut the trees and make the land for more plain spaces or to build more buildings it is also effect the air pollution. Because trees help us to clean the environment .
Another reason factories should be far away from the cities and there should be some specific control on smoke. There should be yearly check up for the road vehicle's which produces smoke as done in DELHI. We have to grow plants, trees for the fresh air and good environment.
In conclusion we have to grow more trees and help others to clean our environment.

6 comments:

dany said...

Pollution is defined as, when the natural environment is being contaminated because of human consequences with harmful substances.
it is a run out sentense.

MURHAF said...

Hi Harpreet..... U forgot to put are before solutions, there are solutions... In the smoke there is dust particles that goes .... it should be In the somoke there are dust particles that go .... built more should be build more

FLOREA said...

You have the three causes and the solutions but, you didn't write in "bold" the vocabulary words, transitions and the adverb clauses. Also, check the sentences, some of them are little bit confuse.

eva said...

Hi Harpreet

I like your writing is a good topic.

there are dust particles that goes (go)

ESL Teacher said...

Topic/Concluding: Good first sentence - grammar is confusing. Consider "Pollution occurs when..

Conclusion should include ideas from essay

Causes/Solutions:

Good ideas and examples.

Use a topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph to tell me what the paragraph is about (i.e. cause paragraph and solution paragraph)

3 Transitions/ 3 Vocabulary:
I didn't see transitions from chapter 6.

Could you bold the new words and transitions so I can give you comments?

Grammar/3 Adverb clauses:
Check subject/verb agreement (i.e. The smoke that comes..)

Incomplete sentence -
check Transportation sentence

which comes from our cars, ...

ESL Teacher said...

Topic/Concluding/Thesis .20


3 causes/3 solutions .20

3 transitions/3 new vocabulary .25
effect (result) v. affect (cause change)

Grammar/ 3 adverb clauses .20
Good clauses