Mankind has always been eager to progress, but nowadays people understand, that the progress can kill them. One of the biggest problems in the world is the pollution of environment. Pollution is contamination of environment such as the air, the water, and the soil by harmful waste substances.
There are a lot of things in our life that seem necessary, such as cars, factories, and burned forests for the fuel and energy, but they brought damage for environment. Take cars, for example. In our days people can't live without cars. However clouds of smoke which send from cars are polluted the air. Also, factories which really necessary for manufacture any products are not only polluting air, but putting dangerous waste into the water. It's resulted to polluted the world's ocean and gradually killed all living in it. In addition, forests are burned by people more then it was before for the fuel and energy, that prevented renewing of the nature and the air.
Therefore, people must develop technology, that will help solve the problems of the environment. One method to solution problem of pollution is that all cars and factories must have filters which will prevent the harmful substances penetrated into the air and the water. Another method of solution the problem is that technology have to clean our air and water, which have already polluted. Next solution is for people to plant more trees. In addition, people have to find other kinds of energy and fuel for save them out.
Just such things can help to save the mankind and Earth from the destruction. Moreover, in future people must think not just for yourself but about next generations, about what they will able to leave them after yourself.
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4 comments:
Hi Iryna, I didn't see your thesis sentence at the end of the first paragraph. You should introduce there your 3 causes and 3 solutions. By the way, I understand all you ideas very easily. Good job.
In our days people can't assume their life without cars. But they send clouds of smoke into the air that polluted it. ....... i did not understand that what is taht mean....i think may be you need (because) the place of but may be i am not not sure but i cant find any meaning .....can you explian to me.....otherwise you write very gud
Topic/Concluding/Thesis:
To make your first sentences clearer, you could combine and clarify like this..
Mankind has always been eager to progress, but nowadays people understand that progress...
The last sentence in your first paragraph should be the thesis, which states causes and solutions to the problem.
Causes/Solutions:
Good ideas, well organized. Try to clarify the grammar to make them even better.
Transitions/Vocabulary:
assume - live
However instead of but
Try other transitions from last chapter in book
renovating - renewing.
Therefore,
contrive- develop
Another solution is for people to plant more trees.
Grammar/Adverb Clauses:
Choose one subject in conclusion ( we, they, you)
First sentence in cause paragraph is incomplete, check second part of sentence. There are other incomplete sentences, read out loud.
No contractions
Topic/Concluding/Thesis .20
3 causes/3 solutions .25
3 transitions/3 new vocabulary .20
Grammar/ 3 adverb clauses .20
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