Alcoholism is an excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages that leads many psychological and health conditions. Heavy drinking afflict age and gender, but it is more common for young people. Abuse of drinking alcohol is caused by stress, social environment, emotional health, and sometimes genetic predisposition. People drink alcohol to escape from reality because can't to solve problems which they carry in everyday life. Another reason that young people drink alcohol is because they are bored.
They drink alcohol for fun and are not recognize their drinking is
a problem.One more thing which causes alcoholism is peers' example in social environment and often in the family. Drinking alcohol without any control causes many thing that destroy normal personal, family and
social life. In order to avoid this a big problem the Government should
to establish strict law about alcohol. It is very important thing protect and realize young people about influence drinking alcohol for health and life. All problems in life people will strive to solve currently.
The families whenever they can, should set an example of lifestyle without too much alcohol consumption.. Alcoholism is a disease and people who become alcohol dependants will have to take therapy.
They drink alcohol for fun and are not recognize their drinking is
a problem.One more thing which causes alcoholism is peers' example in social environment and often in the family. Drinking alcohol without any control causes many thing that destroy normal personal, family and
social life. In order to avoid this a big problem the Government should
to establish strict law about alcohol. It is very important thing protect and realize young people about influence drinking alcohol for health and life. All problems in life people will strive to solve currently.
The families whenever they can, should set an example of lifestyle without too much alcohol consumption.. Alcoholism is a disease and people who become alcohol dependants will have to take therapy.
To succeed in loosing that destructive habit require full of will power and
endurance. Good way going out from alcohol is to find hobby, such as ;
sport, music, books and make friends who give us positive example
of lifestyle.
Although this is very long and heavy path everyone who are too much drinking alcohol should take on this effort, so that not destroy himself and to be valuable member of family and society.
5 comments:
Topic/Concluding/Thesis: Good introduction, tell me that you are going to discuss solutions for the causes in the first paragraph.
Conclusion should repeat solutions.
Causes/Solutions:
Only say three causes in first paragraph.
Great job with supporting ideas.
Transitions/Vocabulary:
inspection? You might mean to say something else?
Did you have three new vocabulary words?
Good transitions.
Instead of "so that" at beginning of sentence, try In order to
Overmuch is not a word.
too much alcohol consumption or too much drinking.
Grammar/Adverb Clauses:
afflicts
age and gender, but it is..
is caused by stress, ...
which they carry in everyday life
Another reason that young people drink alcohol is because they are bored.
peers' example
whenever they can, should set an example..
Hi your paragraph is very good.
You need to wrtite Adverb clauses and cler conclusion abot futre steps to be taken in future.
sivarao
hi Margaret,
your essay is interesting.
My opinion is to add they and delete to in the 4th sentance(because they can't solve)
Wanda
nice paragraph .. i found a mistake though
They drink alcohol for fun and are not recognize their drinking is a problem
im sure u mean... don't reconize
check your grammar
other than that ... great
Topic/Concluding/Thesis .20
3 causes/3 solutions .20
3 transitions/3 new vocabulary .20
afflict means to punish. Do you mean affect?
realize is similar to recognize. I think you mean teach young people.
Grammar/ 3 adverb clauses .20
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