Apr 24, 2007

alcoholism

Alcoholism has become a major problem in society. Before,it used to be just a problem by itself, but currently it us expanding and causing other majerproblems. The problem causing by alcohol are more risky to young drinkers than to old drinkers.
Alcoholism has proven to be the source of many other negative issues with teenagers . Alcohol is the most widely used and abused grug among youth. It is a factor in the three leading causes of death among 15-24 years old. these facters are accident, homicide and suicide. four million young people suffer from alcohol dependence; average at which children begin in to drink today is today is about 13 years old. According to study's alcohol is the most commonly used "gateway" that leads to leads to other drugs that science states delaying tobacco and alcohol will prevent or delay the use of other drug. According to studies children aged 12-17 who drink are 22.3 times more likely to smoke marijuana tthan those who don't drind, and they are 50 times likely to use cocaine. Boys under the age of 17 drink more heavily than any other population group. Alcohol is the easiest drug for children to obtain. Beer is preferred by 61 percent of all children. Wine and wine coolers are the next drink to get drunk. The average teen drinks on more than 5 days/months, according to study. Young brains are moer to have brain damage than fully matured brains. Alcohol shrinks memory signals and reduces memory acquisition, and causes an ability to learn. In 1997 3,336 drivers 15 to 20 years old die's. Almost 30 percent of those drivers had been drinking. Adults who drink alcohol are more likely to attempt suicide. Teenagers that are involved in drinking are a danger to themslves and other. Because of and the current legal drinking age is twenty one, it has helped decrease the number of teenage deaths. Teenagers that become alcohol dependent tend do drug, and other illegal substances. This problem need to be presented by educated teen constantly.

10 comments:

NESRIN said...

Hi Dany
check your spelling....

MURHAF said...

Hi dany ..... U have some mistakes. drinking should be (Drinking) .. Every one should be connected Everyone. U should put comma before because... Us government should be our government.....

Luz said...

I suggest you to check the rules for capitalization of titles in the textbook (page 147- Blueprints). I also suggest you to remember always in the beginning of the sentence you should capitalize...drinking...after period two spaces...I do not see your thesis statement neither. Good luck!!!

Volha said...

I think,you need to change your title:Alcoholism is the world problem.Also,you need to write 3 solutions.

harpreet said...

i think you need to check your spelling and captilized it.....which needs to be capital

Sara said...

You need to check your spelling and to write 3 solutions.

BlackRose said...

dany my friend ...... you need to check your speling then the teacher said 3 causes and 3 solutions like 1....... 2..... 3...
not in a paragraph then look man everyone is telling you to check your speling ........ try harder next time.... good luck

Yura said...

Hi Dany, first of all, your title should look like "Alcoholism is the Word Problem" or "Alcoholism as one of the Biggest Word Problems"
Try do not use complete sentence in title. Second, better don't begin you sentences with and, or, because and never with the small letter. Next, I see a lot of mistakes that you can easily find and change using check spelling in the blog or Microsoft Office Word. Finally, you should learn how to write your causes/ solutions essay.

ESL Teacher said...

Topic/Concluding/Thesis: You should start your essay with Most people know that alcoholism..(and delete everything before.)
Your last sentence in your first paragraph should say that you are going to explain some causes and solutions of alcoholism.

Causes/Solutions:
Say your idea and then support it.

Transitions/Vocabulary:
Spell check -
their past
they are far away from their friend..
Use transitions from chapter. One cause could be..
Another cause...

Grammar/Adverb Clauses:

Capitalize the beginning of each sentence.

Could you please highlight 3 transitions from the chapter, 3 new vocabulary words, and 3 adverb clauses.

ESL Teacher said...

Topic/Concluding/Thesis .10


3 causes/3 solutions .15

3 transitions/3 new vocabulary .15

Grammar/ 3 adverb clauses .15