Mar 27, 2007
Meditation
Meditation means to concentrate a lot on one thing. I concentrate only to the inner power, which is my meditation. It is just a way to reprogram our self and calm our mind. If I do that in the morning then whole day my mind will remain fresh and I can do double to my ability. By doing meditation I can do one thing with a grate concentration and that leads to a perfect work. The most important thing is that if I do meditation then I can came over to my anger. One thing is very good about this is its help us to stay healthier. This brings a sense of fullness and completion, and that is the only permanent source of tranquility available to human beings. That increases awareness of the natural phenomena that is actually going on behind your eyes.
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4 comments:
I want to start meditation too, because it might help me free my mind.
Hi Harpreet, first of all, do NOT use constrictions in formal writing. Try to use firs sentence with an adjective clause.
“The most important thing is that if I do meditation then I can over come to my anger” confusing sentence, check grammar.
Topic/Concluding sentences:
"thing" in your topic sentence is very general. Can you be more specific?
The concluding sentence is confusing. What do you mean by natural phenomena?
3 supporting ideas:
You have lots of good ideas, but they need to be organized. One main idea seems to be the benefits of meditation. What are your other two main ideas to support your topic?
Try to make ideas more general and not use I/
Transitions/Vocabulary:
You use many interesting words.
You repeat meditation a lot. Can you think of another word or use "this" to refer to meditation.
Grammar/Adjective clauses:
"and which is the only permanent source of tranquility available to human beings."
You don't need and in an adjective clause.
"our mind become calm" or calm our minds.
"If I do (what? you need a subject) in the morning then the whole day.."
great concentration (no a before it. )
If you have more questions, please email me or ask me in class.
hey harpreet i like your paragraph and i would like to know more about meditation.
your topic and last sentences.
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