Mar 27, 2007

Modern Nurse.

Florence Nightingale, who came to be known as The Lady with the lamp, was a pioneer of modern nursing. In those days, for a woman of her status which was to become a wife and mother. In those days, nursing was a career with a poor reputation. Even though she has conformed by God. In 1837 what she took as a divine calling. With that calling she worked as a committed modern nurse. On Oct 21, 1854 her most famous contribution came during the Crimean war. She was served to many wounded soldiers during the war.After the war is over, she returned to Britain and joined with family. In 1883 Nightingale was awarded the Royal cross by queen Victoria. She has a role model of many who are in nursing profession in modern those days.

4 comments:

rudina said...

I think your examples are clear,but you should put some details.

Noel said...

You have good examples,but I would like to read some details of each one. Also, do not forget the Title.

Sara said...

You need to explain much better the examples.

ESL Teacher said...

Topic/Concluding Sentences: .20 Great definition. The grammar in last sentence is confusing
Interesting topic!
Where did you learn this information? If you found the information on a website you need to recognize where you it.

3 Supporting ideas: .15

You first and second idea are unclear. Your third about the war is very clear.

Transitions/Vocabulary: .20
Use in those days twice and I am not sure which time period you are refering to.

Grammar/Adjective Clauses: .15

Some good clauses and some incorrect ones. Several incomplete sentences

She served many wounded soldiers..
You need to use all past tense.