My goal in life is to become a realtor. In order for me to become a realtor, I first need to improve my English skills. Therefore I am taking ESL. I researched how to become a real estate sales person and these are some of the steps to follow. First, you have to be an honest person. Second, you have to be at least 18 years old. Third, you have to be sponsored by an Ohio real estate broker. Next, you cannot have been convicted of a felony or crime. Fifth, you have to have a high school diploma or equivalent. Then, you have to take 120 hours of real estate classes. Finally, you must pass the Ohio Real Estate Licensing Exam. These are the steps that I have to complete to achieve my goal. I hope that with hard effort and determination I could achieve my goal soon.
4 comments:
Your paragraph is very good.
I wish you a lot of luck.
Check your paragraph.(an honest)
Wanada
I wish you good luck.
I suggest you to check sentence:
-In order for me to become a Realtor
In my opinion should be:
In order to become a realtor
Clear topic and concluding sentences.
Great transitions
I agree with Margaret. Realtor doesn't need to be capitalized.
Therefore, I am taking ESL classes.
Excellent!
Topic/Concluding .25 Very clear. You could include why you want to become a realtor. Good.
Supporting Sentences .20 The order of the first three sentences could be changed to be more logical. You researched the steps and here are the steps. First, ESL...
Transitions/Vocabulary .25 Great job!
Grammar/Punctuation .25
comma after therefore
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