When I had just come here, I was surprised by the lifestyle of new immigrants who are living in the USA.
I am living in the USA 1,5 years. When I came to the USA, and stared to live here I was surprised a couple of things: how It's difficult to communicate with people if you don't speak their language; how different the food smells and tastes compared to food what I used to eat in Ukraine; how is different the architecture and the culture of this country; how many various nationalities of all world I can see on the street or somewhere else. But the most surprising impression I had, was when I saw the lifestyle of new immigrants.
When I came in Chicago, I was living a couple months there; I saw their lifestyle and started the life how they live. I felt like I was in another time-space! People are in a hurry, rush and busy all the time. A busy person works hard and has a lot of things to do. Usually people work 40 hours a week, when they work longer, they get extra pay. But most immigrants have more than one job and work more than 40 hours per week. And then, they need to go after their first job to their second or third job, or work at nights or weekends. If people want to live better, they do it. New immigrants need some extra money, because they get 7-10$ an hour and need to work more than Americans. That is why they are so busy. Then I moved with my family to Cleveland. And here I started learn English at college and to communicate with native people of this country. And it helped me to see that some Americans are very busy too. But their way of the lifestyle is not too hard.
In the USA, way to live is much faster and busier than in my native country Ukraine. The lifestyle here is too fast because for many people who live here "Time is money." People are trying to make more money for less time. That is why they are in a rush all the time. I was living in Ukraine 18 years, and there "Time is just time" and nothing more than here. That is why for me it was so surprising. I think, that new immigrant's of this country need just a little a bit more time to live here and to adapt for the American lifestyle. And then they will have easiest and better lifestyle. And don't forget that the USA is country of immigrants and almost all of today's Americans were immigrants few generations before.
In conclusion, my big impression in the USA was the way, how new immigrants live, including their work and activities. It was amazing for me.
6 comments:
HI YURA
YOU WROTE SOME I'S IN LOWER CASE.
Hi Nesrin, thanks for your advices.
hi yura
u have some spelling mistakes
Hi Yura!
It is good, interesting,big job (or project) with deep ideas.
Overall I'm agree with you.
Introductory and concluding have same adias.
Now about confusing sentences:
1)"When I came to the USA, and stared life here..." sounds better - started to live here;
2) "...surprised a couple's of thing:.." - a couple things;
3)"...how many various nationalities I can see of all world in the street..." - nationalities of all world I can see on the street;
4)"When I came in Chicago to my mother's friend, I was living couple of weeks there..." - living a couple weeks;
5) "Here, people are all the time busy." - People are busy all the time here;
6)"They do it because they need more money,.." - they need some extra money;
7)"I saw and lived this lifestyle near half year,.." - I saw this lifestyle almost a helf year;
8) "But here, way to live is much faster and busy than in my native country Ukraine." - much faster and busier;
9)"That is why they all the time in a rush." - That is why they are in a rush all the time;
10)"...almost all of today's Americans were few generations before immigrants." - almost all of today's Americans were immigrants few ganerations before.
I agree. You have some excellent ideas and you have learned alot from living here. I want you to read each sentence and ask yourself if it connects to your main ideas in your first and last sentence. If not, think about deleting it. You want all of your ideas to support your main idea.
You did a great job using the 5 senses in your writing!
When I just came here
Iryna gave you some great suggestions to make your ideas easier to read and improve the grammar. I have a few more and you can know that they are my suggestions by these ().
"When I just came here"
Alternatives:
(When I had just come here) or
(When I had recently arrived here),
stared spelling
how (different the food smells and tastes compared to) what I used to eat..
"But the most surprised (surprising) impression I had"
When I came in Chicago to my mother's friend,
unclear grammar
the another time's space!
good idea, check grammar
I saw and lived this lifestyle (for nearly half a year)near half year, because I was (living with,talking to and working with) here with people who are new immigrants with (from other countries) the another countries.
Topic/Concluding Good: .25
Supporting sentences: .10
You have many sentences that don't support your main ideas. Focus your supporting sentences on your main idea. Good examples to support your main idea.
5 Senses/ Vocabulary:.25
Good
Grammar/Punctuation: .20
Study present perfect ( i.e.I have been living). Not every transition is followed by a comma
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