When I came to the
First, I saw the streets from the airplane. It was night and they were lighted up. I saw these streets and a lot of cars running. Being night, the view was gorgeous. The streets looked like giant, curvy snakes. I realized those have to be highways. It was a great image that I saw from the sky.
Days later, I had the chance to see the highway during the day. It was a different view. The straight surfaces, the long, tall bridges, all the exits, some from a highway to another highway, and the high speed made me dizzy and my mouth got a bitter taste all the way. I felt that I would never feel comfortable behind the wheel. However,after a while, when I had to drive, I felt that was easy.
Now, after a long time I am still impressed about the magnificence of these streets however,the traffic and driving don’t scare me anymore.
2 comments:
Nice transitions. Good topic and concluding sentences. I like your descriptions of the freeways.
Excellent use of senses.
I felt that I would never feel comfortable behind the wheel. However, after a while...I felt that it was easy
however, the traffic and driving..
Topic/Concluding sentences: .25 Great!
Supporting Sentences:.25 Great support of main ideas and clear transitions
5 Senses/Vocabulary: .25 Excellent
Grammar/Punctuation: .25
This is excellent. You should submit it for the ESL Voices magazine.
A suggestion: It is common to say something raises our blood pressure. For example, thinking about the test raised my blood pressure.
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